The Award for the Most Happy-and-Depressing-at-the-Same-Time-Thing Ever!

Ladies and gentlemen, the award tonight goes to something that I, personally, find very challenging. Let me begin my asking you a question: do you ever get so caught up in life's mundane tasks that everything sort of 'fades' and becomes less meaningful? ...ergh let me explain.

Life is filled to the brim with seemingly 'unnecessary stuff', like: completing assignments, earning a living, cooking meals, sending emails, doing tax, doing errands, paying insurance companies and banks for their 'services'... the list goes on and on. Personally I am not looking forward to the days when I have to worry about my own finances and spend my hard earned savings on house rent, green-slips and insurance. (Oh how blissful teenage-hood is!)

Yet at the same time I look to the future with a great deal of anticipation and excitement. What lies ahead? Where will I end up? Where will I go? What will I see? These thoughts are, among a few other things, central in preventing me from imploding / going completely insane from the mediocrity of school life: the boring subject content, the mountains of homework and the long... long...bus trips (*shivers*)

I guess one of the main tasks in life itself is to find a balance between the present and the future, between the mundane and the exciting, between the chores and the fun. And it is always during those times when I am living 'in the moment', free from deep, difficult thought, that everything is wonderful and funny and fantastic. And it always seems to hit me when I least expect it; this overwhelming sadness, these thoughts that whirr through my brain and keep me up at night. Thoughts about the fact that the little things that happen in life, like sitting with your friends at lunch-time, or meaningless Skype conversations, or teasing your best friends, or trying a new flavour of ice-cream, or laughing until you can't breathe, or just sitting with someone without all the talking and just stopping for a moment and smiling... These things will never happen again. It will never be exactly as it was, nor will you ever be able to relive that exact same moment again.

Life is full of change, of course. But, tonight, the 'sentence', or 'thought' that I would like to present the award  to, for being 'most happy-and-depressing-at-the-same-time', goes to:

"THIS TOO SHALL PASS"

This sentence is happy because it reminds me during the tough times that life will go on... that the pain will fade, that the tears will dry, that the scars will heal, stress will only last for a little while and that the work will (one day... after much procrastination, of course), be completed. 

And at the same time it is incredibly sad because it causes me to remember that that... eventually, all the happy moments will pass... that friends move on, that laughter ceases, that we will forget the little jokes, that we grow old and weary, that the culture and times we live in will one day be history, and that our remaining 'innocence' will be taken up with other worldly 'stuff'...

(Yeah, sometimes I wish I was Peter Pan :)) This thought grips my very existence. 

So, ladies and gentlemen, never take anything for granted. Never assume that, as you 'breeze' through life that everything will always be that way. It won't. Life smacks us in the face when we least expect it... but whenever that happens, remember "This Too Shall Pass."

And on that happy note, 

Carpe Diem.

The Award for The Most Intoxicatingly Scented Cafe in Sydney

And now, my dear audience, I would like to present the award for The Award for The Most Intoxicatingly (Is that a word? My spell-check doesn't seem to think so...) Scented Cafe in Sydney. I would have liked to extend this award with a superlative such as 'In the world' or 'ever', but alas, I thought that that would be slightly presumptuous of me, so we are restrained to Sydney! 

The recipient of this title is THE LINDT CAFE!!

*Thunderous applause as the audience exchange 'I told you so' looks*

Yes, yes, this one might be a teensy bit Cliche, but who doesn't love the smell of molten chocolate? Rich and velvety, it surrounds you like a warm embrace, tantalising, decadent, intoxicating.

I have had the immense privilege of visiting the larger of the 3 Lindt Cafes in Sydney. The sensation of hurrying in, from a grey and bustling Martin Place, to the golden chocolate scented haven that is The Lindt Cafe is not to be missed. 

(www.yourrestaurants.com.au ) (sorry that I didn't take a picture myself, I was too busy enjoying the scent!) 

Whether you fancy a Macaroon, a gateau, a sample of delicious Lindt ice cream or their famous Hot or Ice Chocolates, the Lindt Cafe is sure to rise to the challenge! Also, reading the menu is an experience in itself. Such descriptive language is rarely come across in a creative writing piece in my extension English class! I challenge you to find another menu which describes their dishes as 'Splendid', 'Iconic' or 'Illuminating'.

The wonderful experience however, was slightly marred by the disturbing (though not wholly unexpected) propensity of my family to cause a ruckus. After marching past the 'Please wait to be seated' sign, my sister pounced with glee upon the cushioned booth-seats, almost knocking over the drink of a well-dressed business man. Alas, that was not to be the end of the embarassments! But I shall not divulge any further details here (I don't think my mother would appreciate it if she stumbled on to the 'interwebs' only to find tales of her 'episodes')

On that bombshell, (nice Top Gear reference eh?) Until next we meet! 

The Award for the Six Most Versatile Words in the English Language

Hello hello and welcome to the show! Tonight I have a wonderful, and somewhat vague award to present to someone, or should I say 'some words'. But, who will it be? Well, let me begin by showing you a video.

What? You paused thirty seconds into the video? Oh you naughty reader, you!

To be honest, I don't blame you. Although this song is very (very) catchy and popular among the average teenage population, in my opinion, it leaves something to be desired... namely decent lyrics and a nice tune (and sensible language). Or perhaps my music taste is skewed? Or perhaps I am skewed. Yeah, okay... 

And we digress! ;)

Anyway, no matter! On to the business. So, it was about three weeks ago when I was browsing spotify and found this song for the first time. At first I was horrified, but then... Oh! What wonders the world has in store for those curious enough to find them (or perhaps mentally challenged enough) but either way, I found something fantastic!!

I told Chantelle. (Or perhaps she told me, coming to think of it ;)) We repeated it over and over. It was fantastic. We dissed people. We gained the upper hand in conversations. We discovered that you could use it in any context, and still come out on top. But what is this beautiful thing that we speak of?

THE SIX MOST VERSATILE WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

You can use them to respond to a question:

"What are you having for lunch?"

"What are you going to do with your life?"

"Where are we going?"

"Why are you doing that?"

"How are you going to get there?"

Or someone asking for your opinion:

"What do you think I should do?"

"Do you like this?"

Or an insult:

"Your face is so ugly"

"I hate you."

Or a compliment:

"Your dress is so cute!"

"You are the sweetest."

"You smell nice."

So, tonight the award for the six most versatile words in the English language goes to: "I don't care... I love it!" Congratulations. What an honour! You must be so proud. Do you have anything to say?

*Ahem*

And now you will probably have this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day! 

You're welcome!

The Award for the Person-Most-Likely-to-Turn-Out-as-a-Crazy-Cat-Lady!

Hello Internet! Well, isn't this blogging thing a funny business! So thrilling. So utterly fantastic. And yet, absolutely terrifying when trying to come up for an award for yourself, let me assure you!

My name is Maryellen, and I am 16 years old. I share this blog with my bestest friend Chantelle, and I think that we are all going to get to know each other quite well. Of course, it is natural that I want to make a good first impression, so, needless to say, I have spent quite a lot of time thinking of the perfect award for myself.

Now, there is something that you must know about me. I am a self confessed, utterly obsessed, sometimes distressed but always well dressed CRAZY CAT LADY! So, ladies and gentleman, without further adieu, it is my great pleasure to present the award for the person-most-likely-to-turn-out-as-a-crazy-cat-lady, to MYSELF! Yay!

Now, I know what you are thinking:

"But, aren't crazy cat ladies supposed to be, like, 80 or something? Not to mention totally loopy, with no friends, and completely round the bend?"

AHA! You see, I have decided that if I continue with my antics, the word 'crazy cat lady' will be redefined by the whole world within the decade. It is my ultimate goal in life. So, watch out world! Here comes Maryellen... the crazy cat lady at age 16! Its a new record! Horrah! Horrah! (insert cheering and other hysterical nonsense here).

You think I am exaggerating? Really? I shall convince you yet of my worthiness of this award! Last night (at around 12am on the 5 May, 2013), my cat, 'Kitty-Girl', or 'Miss Kitty', as she prefers, gave birth to five beautiful kittens! Of course, I was there by her side for the birth. Wouldn't want to miss it for the world!

(Above) 

This is kitty girl, 24 hours after the birth, with her babies, fluffy and suckling. This is her second litter! Can you believe it? And she is only two years old :) She is a purebred ragdoll, and an absolutely gorgeous cat! She had four white kittens, and one (oddly) grey one! When the grey one was born, and it  howled and howled and screamed - it was quite an episode!! In fact, when I first heard the noise I thought that the fridge was setting off its alarm. Nope. Never underestimate the lung-power of a two-minute old kitten!

(Above)

This is Pussy Boy (you have to say it in a deep, sooky voice, otherwise he doesn't respond haha). He is my favouritest father-cat ever. He is so beautiful (another purebred ragdoll) and when you brush his hair back its grey underneath with brown tips. He is the father of the kittens, and of the previous litter that kitty girl had. We got him when he was two years old, and he has very poor eyesight. He is forever running into things, and running away from scary things (like a scarf, or a plastic bag, or a thump). It makes him look very stupid, but really,  he just needs glasses!

This is a short video of the kittens and Kitty Girl :)

But alas! I am not yet finished with convincing you of how much I deserve this award. I still have one more story to tell, which of course, involves cats! Me and Chantelle (my bestest friend and co-administrator), went to our shared-best friends house for a sleepover. Her suburb has a bunch... no, a mass... no, a plethora of stray-cats wandering about the place. 

And there was one stray cat...

                               And he was so fat...
                                                    LOL JOKES...
                                                                      He was so painfully skinny...

                                                                                                 And he was crying...
                          And when you stroked his black and grey fur he would purr...

                                                                 And he looked so innocent...

                                                                                      And I felt pity for him...

AND SO I SHOVED HIM IN A CARDBOARD BOX AND TOOK HIM HOME WITH ME!!!!!!!!
I took home a stray kitten. On the train. In a cardboard box. ...And the cardboard box moved. And meowed. And I whispered to this cardboard box, all the way home! And people looked at us funny. And our friend was horrified. And Chantelle thought that we would get caught by the police. But no! Oh! City Rail, how you never cease to amaze me at your lack of security measures. It was just wonderful! <3

We called the little black kitten 'Bean' (Mr Bean deep-voice-pronunciation, please). He is much fatter now and much, much happier. Here is a picture.

 A close up of his face. Tongue stuck out.

 This is Kitty Girl and him having a get-to-know-you session (before kitty had her kittens, of course)

So, internet, have I thus convinced you of my absolute mad love for all things feline? I just think that cats are the most gorgeous creatures. They are my favourite animals, and...

THIS VIDEO BASICALLY SUMS UP MY LIFE, AMONG A BUNCH OF OTHER HOBBIES AND ASPIRATIONS. So, thankyou very much for reading my blabbering on... and goodnight :) *bows, and accepts award*

The Award for the Most-Inconvenient-Coinage-System

The next award tonight, is for the country with the Most-Inconvenient-Coinage-System.
Although there was viscous competition for this title, the award goes to.........

THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA!!!!

*raucous applause from the Australian supporters*

I imagine that the people who designed the coins in Australia, all sat around in a room and asked themselves: "How can we create a coinage system that confuses foreigners and children, as well as weighing everyone's wallets down unnecessarily?".

I prefer this explanation, because then at least they were extremely successful, achieving all their aims (instead of just showing a serious lack of common sense...).

For those of you who are not familiar with the Australian system- there are 3 major grievances afflicting it.

Firstly, the 2 dollar coin is HALF the size of the 1 dollar coin. Why??? As I have lived here all my life, it doesn't seem strange, but it was just the other day when it struck me how WEIRD that is. Who decided on having the coin that is worth more, smaller?? I can imagine it being really confusing to tourists/immigrants! Although, this does have one upside. It provides every Australian child with the opportunity to double their funds by saying to a younger child: "Here, I'll swap you this giant coin, for that teensy one. Just 'cos I'm nice like that." >:)

(www.cringel.com )

Secondly, the Fifty cents coin is MASSIVE. Seriously gigantic. It even has fancy angular edges (that makes it a literal pain to sit on.). This is extremely annoying, especially as wallets/purses generally don't have a that large coin pocket in the first place. Carrying around a giant pieces of SHRAPNEL worth only 50c each is extremely vexatious (A Mrs Bennet moment, You have no compassion for my poor nerves!) . 

(www.cruzis-coins.com )

And lastly, the smallest value coin is 5c. This doesn't stop retailers from having prices like: $1.47, $29.99, $2.86. Why? I know this isn't strictly a problem with the coinage system, and it doesn't cause much of an issue as most people pay by card. But it is still incredibly frustrating! (Who can be bothered to round? It feels too much like maths.) 

The Award for the Awkwardest-Person-Ever

Good Evening Ladies, Gentlemen and 'other' inhabitants of the internet. I would firstly like to thank you all for attending tonight's Award Ceremony, where I will be recognising and congratulating the attributes of the world around me. 

To start off the prize-giving, I would like to present the Award for the Awkwardest-Person Ever. And it goes tooooooooooooooo, ME! 

*Howls of disappointment and outrage from the crowd*

Yes, yes, I know, it is rather unconventional for the Award-giver and the Award-receiver to be the same person. However, I have a strong belief that as we get to know each other over this (metaphorical) evening, that you will come to see why I have been the undefeated  winner of this award for the past 16 years. 

Let me share with you, my dear friends,  a few examples of why I AM THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ON THE PLANET!

Firstly, sometimes, I forget to breathe.

*gasps of horror* 

I know this isn't technically 'awkward' but it sure is stupid, and that kinda counts. This literally happens to me, semi-regularly. Whenever I get too excited about something, or really interested, or even when I'm nervous (that has made for some interesting kerfuffles while public speaking, I can assure you.), sometimes even for no reason! Whaaattt?! I am a terrible person. 

Secondly,  I blush/turn-into-a-beetroot really easily. Even if I'm not embarrassed, but am just thinking to myself; 'Oh my goodness, this would be so embarrassing if I was embarrassed and blushed right now', I BLUSH, I TURN RED AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING EMBARRASSED!!!! Argh! This has gotten to the point that even if someone (usually my so-called 'friends') whispers to me: 'Don't blush! ;)' I immediately attempt my best Elmo impression. You can imagine the inconvenience.

And thirdly, and possibly the most obvious display of my utter inability to function in society, I am extremely clumsy (or as the French would say, Maladroit). I have dubious gift of being able to trip over flat surfaces, fall up and down stairs (tricky things, stairs- so many opportunities for a disaster.), fall over while standing still and slip of my chair in the middle of a crowded food court. 

*gales of laughter*

You may laugh, but all of those are real and semi-frequently occurring events in my life.Now, If you need further proof of my eligibility for this award, I have one more story to tell you.  I used to have an after-school job at a certain fast-food restaurant that shall remain nameless. At this job, I was always,  for some imperceivable reason, placed on the Drive-Thru. (You know that annoying voice that shouts at you at the speaker and then demands your money at the next window? Yeah, well, that was me.) One night, I was coming to the end of a 5 hour shift, taking the orders through a head-set, and then waiting for the car to drive up to the next window, to take their money, when a car with 5 young males pulls up. As usual I took their order, and then they came up to my window. In my defense, they did park quite far a way from the said window, and the window-sill of that window was very low. As I leaned out to take their money, I slipped on a paper on the floor, and suddenly I had fallen out of the window and was head-and shoulders in their car, my torso forming a 'bridge' between their car and the window and my legs flailing around in the booth. Disaster! 

*Gasps of shock mingled with hysterical laughter*

The boys were a little alarmed. As I was stuck, I had to elicit the aid of my friend to pull me back in the window, and of the driver in the car (who seemed very eager to push me out of his vehicle). Can you even imagine! That doesn't happen to normal people! 

Alas, I can sense that I have already dwelled to long on this subject, but I assure you this is not the end of the gargantuan list of reasons of why I am the best candidate for this award. We have barely scratched the tip of the iceberg my friends! But I shall spare you the extended version, as I am sure you will grasp a better understanding throughout the course of our evening together!